Real Wellness is an Inside Job: Letting Go of the Hustle for Wholeness

The Myth of Perfect Health: Real Wellness for Parents

By Dr. Susannah Ward | Adapted for Parenthood360

For generations, we’ve been sold a dream of perfect health: radiant skin, boundless energy, and a life untouched by illness, pain, or exhaustion. But let’s be real—especially as parents, that kind of health doesn’t just feel unrealistic, it feels laughably impossible.

True wellness isn’t about achieving flawless health. It’s about living well—in our real bodies, with our real minds, amid our very real, and often messy, lives.

As Dr. Susannah Ward says:
“Wellness isn’t about curing everything. It’s about cultivating the capacity to live fully, even in the presence of imperfection.”

Why the “Perfect Health” Ideal Fails Parents

Everywhere we look—on social media, in magazines, at school pick-up—we’re bombarded by images of “perfect health” that make us feel like if we just tried harder, we could fix everything: the stress, the tiredness, the postpartum changes.

But this ideal is not just misleading—it’s harmful. It suggests that if you’re not at your best, you’ve failed. It creates shame around natural changes like ageing, stress, mental health struggles, or just feeling human in a demanding world.

As Dr. Ward reminds us:
“Health is not a static state. It’s something you practice—daily, gently, and honestly.”

A New Definition of Wellness for Parents

Instead of chasing perfect health, what if we embraced a kinder, more sustainable approach to wellness?

Here’s Dr. Ward’s framework for real wellness:

• Self-awareness: Tune into your body and mind with honesty. Notice your needs and triggers, not to judge them, but to understand them.
• Self-acceptance: Embrace your whole self—including your imperfections. Parenting is messy. Give yourself grace.
• Self-management: Find daily rhythms that support your well-being—whether it’s a 10-minute walk, breathing exercises during nap time, or setting boundaries with technology.

This isn’t about having it all together. It’s about feeling supported and grounded in your unique reality.

Living Well With, Not Despite

One of the most powerful shifts we can make as parents is to stop seeing challenges—whether it’s exhaustion, illness, or emotional stress—as enemies of health. Instead, we can learn to live well with whatever arises.

Dr. Ward says:
“You can be vibrant and valuable even if you live with anxiety or exhaustion. You can feel whole and worthy even if your body doesn’t look or function the way you want it to. Real wellness makes room for your humanity.”

Quick Tips for Busy Parents

If you’re ready to ditch the pressure of “perfect health” and embrace a more realistic, sustainable approach, try these:

• Get curious, not critical: Notice what’s working for you right now, even in small ways.
• Honour your reality: Some days will be harder than others. That’s okay.
• Focus on function: What helps you feel clearer, calmer, or more connected to your family? Start there.
• Create rhythms, not rules: Perfect routines don’t exist. Find gentle rhythms that work for you.
• Let your wellness evolve: Your needs will shift with life changes. Stay flexible and compassionate.

The Gift of Enough

You don’t need to be perfectly well to live a joyful, connected life as a parent. You don’t have to wait until every challenge is solved or every to-do is checked off.

“When we stop chasing perfection, we make space for presence,” says Dr. Ward.
In that space, we find what really matters: connection, resilience, love, and the daily practices that help us feel alive.

Let’s move beyond the myth of perfect health. Let’s embrace real wellness—messy, evolving, honest, and free. Because in the end, it’s not about being flawless. It’s about being whole.

Dr Susannah Ward is Specialist Physician of Rehabilitation Medicine and the author of Mastering Real Wellness.